How to Get a Prenup Without Losing the Romance in Just 4 Simple Steps, Guaranteed
How to Get a Prenup Without Losing the Romance in Just 4 Simple Steps, Guaranteed
45-page ‘Money, Marriage & New York: A Professional Woman’s Guide to Prenups’ eBook including 4 steps you can read in under 30 minutes!
Why This Guide Matters?
Getting engaged in New York City is thrilling, the lights, the celebrations, the energy. But once the excitement quiets down, reality sets in. Marriage isn’t just about love. It’s about combining lives, assets, and responsibilities.
And here’s the hard truth: most couples never talk about what happens if things don’t go as planned. Not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know how.
That silence is expensive. It can cost you your business, your home, your savings, or your peace of mind.
In Divorce Decoded, I, Asia Scarlett-Jones, share case after case where couples could have saved themselves years of conflict and thousands of dollars if they had simply taken the step of creating a prenup before marriage. A prenup isn’t about expecting failure. It’s about building a marriage on clarity, honesty, and fairness.
So let’s walk through exactly how to get a prenup in New York City step by step so you and your partner can start your marriage from a place of trust and protection.
Step 1: Shift the Mindset, A Prenup is About Love, Not Distrust
Most people resist the word “prenup” because it feels cold. But think about it differently:
You buy health insurance, not because you expect to get sick, but because you want peace of mind.
You write a will, not because you expect to die tomorrow, but because you care about your family’s future.
A prenup is the same. It’s a way of saying, “I love you enough to plan for every possibility.”
💡 From Divorce Decoded: The couples who thrive after signing prenups are not the ones who feared divorce. They’re the ones who valued clarity, communication, and fairness.
Step 2: Choose the Right Attorney
In New York, each partner must have their own attorney for the prenup to be valid. This isn’t about creating conflict. It’s about ensuring fairness and enforceability.
At ASJ Law Office, we work with high-earning professionals, entrepreneurs, and executives who need discretion and strategy. Our goal isn’t to draft one-sided agreements that cause resentment. It’s to create prenups that:
Hold up in court.
Protect both partners.
Reflect your real financial picture.
Allow your marriage to start on trust instead of fear.
Pro Tip: Avoid DIY templates. Judges can (and do) throw them out if they’re vague, unfair, or signed under pressure.
Step 3: Lay Everything on the Table
Transparency is the foundation of any solid prenup. You’ll both need to fully disclose your:
Income and bonuses
Stock options and business interests
Real estate and property
Retirement accounts and investments
Family trusts or expected inheritances
Debts or liabilities
Yes, this might feel vulnerable. But it’s also freeing. You’re starting marriage without financial secrets.
Case Example: In Divorce Decoded, I tell the story of a CFO who nearly lost his company because he failed to disclose stock options when drafting his prenup. His agreement was challenged later, and it cost him far more than being upfront would have. Honesty protects both of you.
Step 4: Negotiate Fair Terms
This is where your prenup takes shape. The terms you negotiate should be clear, balanced, and tailored to your life. Common elements include:
Property ownership: what remains separate and what becomes marital.
Future earnings: whether bonuses, equity, and business growth are protected.
Spousal support: setting realistic terms to protect both sides.
Inheritance: safeguarding family assets or children from prior relationships.
Remember: a prenup should never feel like one partner is “winning” at the other’s expense. When done right, both partners walk away feeling secure.
Storytelling Moment: Jason, a tech founder in NYC, came to us after watching a colleague lose half a startup in divorce. He hadn’t even launched his own business yet, but he knew his future was bright. Together, we drafted a prenup that protected his equity while ensuring his spouse felt cared for with fair support provisions. Instead of creating tension, the prenup gave them both confidence in their marriage.
Mistakes to Avoid When Getting a Prenup
Waiting until the last minute: Judges may view prenups signed right before the wedding as coercive. Start the process early.
Relying on a template: Online forms rarely meet New York’s standards.
Making it one-sided: Agreements that heavily favor one spouse are often challenged.
Failing to update: Life changes. Businesses grow. Kids are born. Update your prenup as your circumstances evolve.
Avoiding the conversation: Silence is the biggest mistake. A prenup starts with an honest discussion.
FAQs About Prenups in New York
Q: How long does it take to get a prenup in NYC?
Typically 4–8 weeks, depending on the complexity of your assets and the negotiations.
Q: Can a prenup cover future earnings?
Yes. You can decide in advance how bonuses, investments, and business growth will be treated. Courts generally uphold these provisions if both sides had independent counsel.
Q: What if my partner refuses?
It’s about framing. Position it as protection for both of you, not just yourself. At ASJ, we coach our clients on how to start this conversation without conflict.
The Big Picture: Why a Prenup Is About Trust, Not Fear
Here’s the reality: most marriages that fail don’t end because of a lack of love. They end because of money conflicts.
A prenup won’t solve every problem, but it will eliminate one of the biggest financial uncertainty. When you both know exactly what to expect, you can focus on building your life together instead of worrying about the “what ifs.”
As I wrote in Divorce Decoded: “When you avoid talking about money before marriage, you set yourself up to fight about it after.” A prenup is one of the most loving things you can do because it forces the hard conversations now, not later.
Your Next Step
If you’re engaged and serious about starting your marriage on a foundation of trust, don’t wait.
Download Now: 'Money, Marriage & New York: A Professional Woman’s Guide to Prenups'
And if you’re ready to take the next step:
We only take a limited number of prenup clients per month to ensure personalized care. If you’re planning to marry in New York, the best time to secure your future is now.
Disclaimer
The information provided on this blog is for general informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Reading this blog, submitting comments, or contacting ASJ Law Office through this website does not create an attorney–client relationship.
While we make every effort to ensure the accuracy and timeliness of the information shared, laws and regulations change frequently, and the applicability of legal principles can vary depending on individual circumstances. For advice specific to your situation, you should consult directly with a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction.
Any references to past results, client stories, or case examples are illustrative only and do not guarantee a similar outcome. Names and identifying details may be changed to protect client confidentiality.
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